The Top 10 Pitchdeck No-Nos

Just because your co-founder thought it sounded good, doesn't mean you should include it in your pitch deck.

Here’s your guide to the top 10 real-life investor pitch deck NO-NOs presented to us by clients that really needed some serious help.

I kid you not - this is real.

10. No Hockey Sticks

There’s nothing cryptic about this crypto offering. If it walks like a duck, talks like a duck, and doesn't need to use cryptocurrency, then it's probably just a duck. When your company’s Y10 growth projections are hampered by the limited population of planet Earth, you’re dreaming. This is an extreme version of the most common pitch deck no-no:

9. No overly optimistic projections

Unless your company sells sports equipment to the NHL, your investor deck shouldn’t include a hockey stick shooting toward the moon!

8. No comparing your company to Uber

You’re not the next Uber. Statistically, you’re just not. They’re called Unicorns for a reason - don’t waste your time sticking a traffic cone on your horse. If you quit playing dress-up you might discover you have a pretty useful horse.

7. No taking down the elephant sans ammo

Investors want to see that you have a good head on your shoulders, and the discretion to talk about what’s important today, tomorrow and for the next three years. Focus on that. Start a good business before you start a revolution. Keep your head out of the clouds.

6. No comparing yourself to Elon Musk

He may be every entrepreneur's idol, but you're just not him. Today’s scion could be disinherited tomorrow. Practice humility and don't be a d*ck - especially if it's on a conference call with analysts who are paid to judge your business acumen by the same people who entrusted millions upon millions of dollars to your management team.

5. No dealing with questions from the floor for the first time

No one’s that good. No one.

You might sound confident.

Or you might look like a deer in the headlights.

But you're not getting away with it.

Expect an investor to ask you a question, or series of questions, about anything you’ve written in your Pitch Deck, and any other investor documents for that matter. Get someone with a nasty streak to challenge you on everything they can think of in advance.

4. No shaky stats

Keep it simple - if an investor asks you, "where'd you get that data," and your response is going to be "Wikipedia" - then either find a better source or find a better topic to talk about.

3. No talking about how others have tried and failed

Talk about how you plan to succeed. The last thing out of your mouth when you’re talking about your Big Idea should be “how others have tried it and failed.”

I know some investors that hold this out as a "narrative option" - but guess what? It sucks.

Why would you focus on other unsuccessful people when you should be focusing on making yourself successful?

Yes, learn from others' mistakes - but it can't be the core of your pitch.

In the likely event that those others are charismatic people just like you who've lost a lot of other people's money, then you’ve just written yourself off in the investor’s mind.

2. No Lions, No Mice

Like all good things, Ambition is great in moderation, toxic in excess and ineffective when the dose is too small.

1. To whatever this is: No.

Some pictures say a thousand words. This one says 5: “Whatever you’re selling, I’m out.”

Think carefully before you put anything in your pitch deck.

After all, you stand behind it.