Your Pitch is a Disaster. Fix It.

Ever see a train wreck in slow motion?

I have.

I once watched a founder mess up their investor pitch so badly that I swear I saw a VC investor physically wince. (She even told me after, “it takes a lot to make me blush… but wow, they did it.”)

The company? Brilliant. The opportunity? Huge.

The pitch? A flaming dumpster fire.

The VC did pass because the business was bad—she passed because the story was.

Unfortunately, here’s what founders don’t get:

It’s not your investors’ job to teach you how to tell your own business’ story.

There’s so many areas where founders go wrong, but in my experience here are the most common:

• They bury the lead—hiding their best traction at the bottom of a 20-slide deck.
• They ramble about vision instead of proving customers need them.
• They talk about what they want (“We need $10M to scale…”) instead of showing why investors should want them.
• They describe instead of show—no clear visuals, no compelling proof.

If you keep making these mistakes, you’re wasting time, money and relationships.

‍Fix it now. ⬇️‍

Step 1: Lead with Strength

The first three pages of your deck make or break your story.

If you miss, investors just start thinking:

What’s the minimum amount of interest I can show this founder… that won’t make me come off as a dck… so I can make it to my haircut 10 minutes earlier?*

So if you have traction—even a sliver of it—it goes upfront.

Yes - before your Problem-Solution.

• Got revenue? Open with that.
• Landed a huge partnership? Lead with that.
• Green shoots of reorders, or solid NRR? Why are you not mentioning it upfront?
• Have 10,000 beta users who swiped their cards & are frothing at the mouth for your product? Say that first!

Investors are like ADHD teenagers. If you don’t immediately prove you’re worth their time, they’ll mentally check out.

Step 2: The Customer Is Always Right (Not the Investor)

Investors love to play “Shark Tank” and tell you what they think.

But here’s the truth: their opinions don’t actually matter.

Your customers.

• If customers are paying, pre-ordering, or begging for your solution, that’s the only validation you need.
• If people churn the second they sign up, investors don’t care how “brilliant” your tech is.

Practice this pivot phrase:

That’s really great insight, I appreciate you for that. Here’s what our customers are saying:

It’s pretty hard to disagree with the people who are willingly paying you money.

Step 3: Show, Don’t Tell

A great diagram is worth 1,000 words.

• Instead of saying “We have a viral growth loop,” show a clear funnel diagram with real numbers - and an anecdote on how you view your k-factor.
• Instead of saying “We solve a big problem,” show customer testimonials, case studies, or sales numbers.
• Instead of claiming “The system is broken,” show me the clusterf*ck diagram! Here’s an example:

Investors don’t trust words—they trust proof.

Step 4: Stop Asking for Money—Make Investors Want In

Here’s the brutal truth: if you have to “ask” for money, your pitch isn’t strong enough.

Your narrative should scream:

• “These three market factors created the perfect storm. We must exist.”
• “We are the only ones who can solve this.”
• “If we don’t do this, someone else will—and they’ll win big.”

When investors see momentum and inevitability, they won’t hesitate to write the check.

‍Make Your Pitch Unstoppable

Most founders pitch like they’re begging for a favor. The best founders pitch like they’re offering the opportunity of a lifetime.

‍So, next time you walk into that investor meeting:

• Lead with traction.
• Prove customers NEED you.
• Show, don’t tell.
• Create a narrative that makes investment feel inevitable.

Do that, and investors won’t just say yes—they’ll fight to get in.

Now go fix that pitch. 🚀